As we leaf through old photograph albums, we chuckle with embarrassment at the follys of our youth. The cheesecloth shirts, platform heels and crew cut and moptop hairstyles of the 1970s were only surpassed by the maroon trousers and matching maroon shoes ( with white socks ) and mullet hairstyle of the 1980s. In truth there was very little “style” in either decade. However these “fashion faux pas” must be viewed in the context of the time. So in theory, should our first record!!

The reality is that the majority of us probably bought our first record when we were between 8 and 11 years of age: little did we know that our immaturity and complete lack of taste would come back to haunt us over and over again through the rest of our lives!! My first record should have been the boppy and almost credible “Tiger Feet” by Mud. However as always seemed to be the case in adolescence, events conspired against me and my Mum ( having bought it for my best mate’s 12th birthday ), wouldn’t part with a further 45 pence for a copy for me. And so it was that my “official” first record became the Rubettes’ “Sugar Baby Love”, when my Dad came home with a copy of it for me in May 1974!! For those struggling to remember the song in question – it’s the one with the falsetto vocals of Paul Da Vinci, who quite sensibly left the group after his efforts to resemble a eunuch on their first recording!!

However things get worse for me in the embarrassment stakes, when I had a chance to “buy” my first record later that year at Christmas 1974!! I had a chance to redeem my credibility – but did I take the opportunity? NO!! With only 50 pence in my piggy bank, I had to make a life changing choice between the sublime “My Boy” by Elvis Presley, or the gimmicky and cheesey “The Bump” by Kenny. For reasons best known to my psychiatrist, I chose the latter. For those understandably struggling to recall this “catchy crap”, it was the song that was accompanied by people rubbing their bottoms together on Top of the Pops dance floor – the type of bizarre behaviour you would probably get if you genetically crossed the nose rubbing Eskimo with his Husky!! The ignominy of it all. What was I thinking?!!

My only consolation is that my sister and brother’s first records were equally embarrassing: Little Jimmy Osmond’s “Long Haired Lover from Liverpool” and Laurel & Hardy’s “Trail of the Lonesome Pine” respectively. When my brother bought the latter at Christmas 1975, I had at least developed some taste in the intervening year, as I recall buying Greg Lake’s “I believe in Father Christmas”, which remains to this day my favourite Xmas song. The re-assuring moral of the story is that after dubious starts, hopefully most of us  evolved reasonably quickly, and developed more sophisticated musical tastes!!

What was your first record? How horrendous and embarrassing was it? Would you like it framed and mounted – in an ironic sort of way?!!

If so, whether a vinyl record or CD, order it now, by clicking on….. http://www.myfirstrecord.co.uk/

Alternatively you can buy a family member, or friend’s first record……this would make a unique present or original gift for a special celebration  ie a 40th or 50th Birthday, A Silver, Ruby or Golden Wedding Anniversary,  Mother’s or Father’s Day, or possibly Valentine’s Day!!  THE PERFECT PERSONALISED PRESENT!!